is this depression?
it's anticipatory grief
it's the loss of a future
it's here-and-now grief
it's a pandemic
it's anger for having seen this coming
it's despair for our chances of surviving
it's regret for all i couldn't do
it's fear for my loved ones
it's deep ambivalence about being alive
it's exhaustion like a thirst in my bones
it's numbness
it's a muting of life
it's an iron veil
it's a yoke around my neck
it's amorphous
it's inescapable
it's my new normal
it's all i got